Wisdom and Tea: Reflections of Muslim Home-making Moms

Think. Learn. Act. Remind.

The One

From Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, and countless other stories we hear in our childhood to the books and movies we watch all our lives, most deal with finding that perfect someone mean’t just for you. What is sometimes forgotten is that perfect one is human too with all the imperfections that go along. Life is a balancing act, and marriage is like walking a tight rope together in a way that you help each other stay on, because if you can’t cooperate and shake the rope too much, you can both fall off. If you stay with someone long enough there are bound to be characteristics about the other that drive you crazy. Yes its great if you share the same interests but what truly matters is if the same values are important to both. Why do you want to get married and what opinion do they have about the institution of marriage. Questions like whether the concept of balancing time spent with the spouse,kids,in-laws and parents is considered important by the other, need to be asked. There has to be some foundation which will withstand all the ups and downs in life and it has to be more substantial then just feeling attracted to someone and sharing the same interests. What is the others attitude to religion , how much of a role does it play in their lives and basically it comes down to whether he/she is a decent human being. Now that’s a lot to figure out and no one person can know everything about another. But by seeing behaviour and also attitude towards relatives, servants , children and by asking questions about theses matters one can try to make the best judgement possible. And with all this, above all, prayer, to ask Allah to guide us in choosing the person who would be good for us in life, and good for our faith and for whom we in turn can be a blessing for. And as no person can completely know another, neither can a person make someone love them. One has to do the best they can to earn that love, and it is Allah who creates the love we so desire . The Quran says as follows:
[30.21] And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.

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